By Patrick Langston, Ottawa Citizen
Downsizing: a word that summons terrifying images of yellowed college essays, Grandma’s cracked tea service, and the mountains of other stuff that we all accumulate. But it gets worse. Where to go when it is time to downsize? Or what about Mum: how are we ever going to convince her to trade the sprawling family home for a berth in a nursing facility?
Doug and Judy Robinson don’t have all the answers. But they have gathered some very good suggestions into their just-released book The Best of the Rest: Downsizing for Boomers and Seniors ($19.95 from General Store Publishing House; online at www.chapters.indigo.ca and www.amazon.com).
The husband and wife team wrote the how-to book from experience. Owners of Ottawa-based Senior Moves (613-832-0053, www.seniormoves.ca), the retired teachers have helped over 1,800 seniors downsize since 1996.
The Robinsons recently launched their book at the Westboro location of Amica, a high-end retirement home chain. As nattily dressed residence staff prepared the adjacent dining room for the evening meal, friends, family and business associates thronged around the Robinsons in Amica’s lounge. Clearly, the couple has struck a chord with their downsizing expertise.
"The focus of the book is, ’Here are some options for your change in lifestyle,’ " Judy said in an interview. The chatty chapters deal with topics like knowing when it’s time to move, aging in place, and choosing a nursing home or residence. They also cover such potentially fraught issues as helping ease Alzheimer’s sufferers into new surroundings and the minefield of intergenerational households (think, elderly parents with a move-in, divorced daughter and her boisterous little boy). As well, there’s an entire chapter on discarding a lifetime’s accumulation of stuff.
The Best of the Rest is an easy read thanks to its tips, checklists, questions to help in decision-making, and telling anecdotes from the couple’s business and personal experience.
Even if you’re not downsizing yet or helping aging parents do it, there are good reasons to take the book’s advice seriously. "It used be that we just moved 80- or 90-year-olds, but that’s changed," says Judy, adding that many empty-nest baby boomers are now looking to downsize. "With all the boomers coming along, if you’re 45 to 60 and haven’t put something in place for your old age, you’re going to be in trouble." Pointing to the limited availability of housing for low-income seniors, she said that Canadians are "treading water now" when it comes to having sufficient retirement facilities.
Their advice on getting rid of stuff when the time finally comes to downsize? "You just have to make concessions," says Judy.
The Robinsons have arranged for clients to donate tools to a trade school and clothing to go to victims of fires or women who have fled abusive homes. "It’s easier if you can see it’s going where it will help someone get a leg up on life," said Doug.
Services and books like the Robinsons’ can be a boon for seniors, says Marisa Rainer, general manager of Amica at Westboro Park, during the launch. "Many seniors don’t want to make the commitment to downsizing because they don’t want to put pressure on their families — they know they’re busy."
And if you are a family member helping Mum or Dad make that transition?
"Don’t put the rush job on your parents," says Doug. "Older people already feel they are losing control. If they feel it’s their decision, they’re going to be far happier and settle in far faster."
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